After countless friends coming to me with relationship
problems, I began thinking that there was just no hope in a couple being happy
nowadays. However after some serious pondering and some heavy doses of sappy
chick flicks, I have found the answer.
When a friend comes to me and asks me if her relationship is
worth it anymore, I ask her about the future she sees with that guy. Many
people will start their relationships thinking hey that guy is pretty cool. I think he would treat me great! There
obviously is no problem with that, considering all those intense feelings
haven’t been developed yet! However, once the relationship has been
established, it’s time to think about the future of the relationship. If there
are constant problems in the relationship, you have to ask yourself if you see
yourself being with this person for long term.
Now that we are growing up, it’s time to start thinking a
bit more seriously about relationships.
When you date, it is important to see that person as a potential spouse.
What is the point of dating if you see no future with that person? None. Isn’t
the purpose of dating? To find a spouse? I do not see a reason why a person
should essentially waste their time with a person they do not see a future
with. I know that we are only 18, but still, some of us have been in the dating
game for a few years now, and we pretty much know what we want in a person. If
the person you are dating is not your ideal man or woman, what is the use of
dating? If you know it’s not working, it’s time to get out. There’s no point in
staying with something your heart isn’t completely in. I know that it may be
hard to end, but at the end of the day, it is the right thing to do.
If you cannot see yourself marrying the person you date, why
even date? It just makes sense to have that companionship with a person you
believe is your soulmate.
I mostly agree with you! I do think that it is really important to consider whether or not you could have a future with someone when considering dating. However, no relationship will ever be perfect! I'm not saying that anyone should lessen their standards, but there should be a little room for imperfections (not major problems, but everyone has their quirks). Also, I am a bit skeptical of love-at-first-sight, so I don't think I can determine whether or not someone is my soulmate until after we start dating! ;-) It's just hard to know what your future with a person would be without going through the process of getting to know them better first.
ReplyDeleteI totally get this post! I am in a long term long distance relationship and know how important it has been for me to look ahead to the future in order to accept my less than stellar situation. I definitely agree with what you said about how we need to think about more than just how well a guy treats us,and I think that often times thoughts about the future bring thoughts about marriage and possibly children. In that way, this kind of ties into the discussion from class. Thinking about throwing my husband out of a boat after we've just gotten married, are out of college, and are ready to start a family seems impossible! It was really refreshing to read your take on how we, as young people, should be concerned about our future relationships, especially since I often hear from my elders that I'm "too young" to worry about marriage, etc. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteI am afraid I do not agree with very much in this post and here is why: while dating to find a spouse may be your goal and the goals of some others that is not the only goal when people date (and sometimes is never a goal in someone's life). To assume that dating should lead to marriage as a rule is too broad as many people date without considering their partner to be their future spouse (and perhaps they never want to marry). Dating, for many, is a way to explore a different aspect of personal relationship that can involve romance, sex and other types of intimate connection with someone else. And for your question "What is the point of dating if you see no future with that person?" well, there are a lot of reasons and many of them are different from person to person. As long as partners are engaging in a healthy relationship with good communication dating can be as casual or as serious as they choose. I was hoping this would talk more about what constitutes a healthy relationship and you seem to be saying that if marriage is a goal then you should tailor you dating habits to find a suitable spouse instead of carrying on what had started out as a casual relationship. Dating, no matter the age, is a way for us to experiment with what we want and we all can want different things. I also am not convinced of the "Ideal" man or woman as because, let's face it, there will always be something about someone you don't like. The key to having a good relationship, as I see it, is being able to communicate and respect each other regardless of the seriousness of the relationship.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting post and I liked seeing your perspective. I know many people will connect with this and feel the same way but I also wanted to provide a little bit of a different idea about dating; one that a lot of people have.
Crap, there is no edit button. Okay I have one more thing to add that I forgot! I think this post did a good job in pointing out a potential reason to why a relationship might be failing and I think you are right that some people do not always consider dating to find a spouse if finding a spouse is one of their goals. That said, there are many reason why they may not be choosing to pursue that goal with their current partner and I do not think that devalues their relationship if they are both on the same page (but teens and communication go together about as well as oil and water sometimes).
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